Welcome guest bloggers Barbara Greenberg, PhD and Jennifer A. Powell-Lunder, Psy.D
Barbara and Jennifer are clinical psychologists who specialize in the treatment of teens and their families. They are respected writers, speakers, and consultants on teen issues and both maintain a private clinical practice. They are the authors of Teenage as a Second Language and the hosts of Talking Teenage, a blog spot for parents to listen, learn and discuss various issues related to raising a happy, healthy teen. www.talkingteenage.com
This is the link to their book. Take a look and if you have teens at home, think about adding it to your library. http://www.amazon.com/Teenage-Second-Language-Becoming-Bilingual/dp/1440504644#
Here are two recent posts from Talking Teenage at www.talkingteenage.com
Let it Go…
The Beatles said “let it be.” The Rolling Stones advised to “let it bleed.” The authors of Teenage as a Second Language suggest “let it go.” What we are referring to is learning to forgive your teens. There are times that forgiving or letting things go goes a long way. We are referring to small missteps not major mishaps.
In their quest to manage their daily lives and stressors, teenagers often get things wrong. They may mishandle situations, behave in a clumsy manner, or communicate with an unintended angry tone of voice.
If possible, we suggest that parents of teens forgive their teens, allow some room for error, and encourage them to “keep on trucking” as the Grateful Dead advised us. You want your kids to know that you continue to believe in them despite their mistakes!
And remind your teens that “you can’t always get what you want, but you can try so hard.”
Dear Mom and Dad…
We spend lots of time helping you, the parents of teens, communicate and interact more effectively with your teens. We feel that we owe it to all of you to let you know about some of the kind and tender things that your teens say about you. We’ve consolidated these feelings into a hypothetical letter.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know that I sometimes don’t answer your questions. Sometimes, I roll my eyes and act embarrassed by your jokes. I even slam doors at times. I act like I don’t care about what you think of me. I know that you get frustrated when you hear how well-mannered I am from other parents.
Well, mom and dad, here is the truth. I am a teen and I am not supposed to act like I care about your opinions. The truth is that I love you very much. Your opinion of me is extremely important. When I lie to you it’s not only because I don’t want to get into trouble but also because I don’t want to disappoint you. I really am watching how you act so that I’ll know how to act in similar situations. You really are my most important role models. I mean all of these things but it’s way too hard for me to say these things. Please wait until I get older.
Your teenage sons and daughters.